The Worst Punishment

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Owing to my depression, I had almost abandoned reading and listening to music. And ironically so, these are the only activities that I feed on for sanity. Having lost the interest to read or to listen to music, my ability to write too kept draining. Every time I tried to write, I ended up striking all that I wrote. I thought I wrote sheer nonsense.
Uncertainty had gripped me in its mesh.

I had no hazy clue how times would improve. Reading seemed laborious. I just couldn’t conjure up what the writer wanted to convey. I would stay stuck up on the same page for hours. And within moments I would land in my own sadist world, stressing and worrying about problems that never existed in the first place! And every time I made it to the next page, I would lose track of what I read previously. Believe me, there is no phase worst than this, that an avid reader can go through.

I felt as though I was being punished. Only exception being I had no slight idea what mistake I had committed.

Until I made my personal diary – my friend. I wrote everything unimaginable. At times, tears flowed down my cheeks while I wrote. I made sure I cleansed my heart and mind of all the issues that unsettled me. I wrote about everyone who made me feel inferior. I wrote about why I had to go through such things. I simply wrote, wrote and wrote a little more.

This practice relieved me. It became a routine, I couldn’t live without. Until it became an integral part of me. My diary accompanied me, wherever I went.

Today, here I am, wrapped up in pages when I have no other work. And buried in music, when I am not reading!

 

Daily Prompt: Punishment

Photo Courtesy: internsadda.com

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8 thoughts on “The Worst Punishment

    1. I make it a point to write everyday! I do miss it on certain days, but I make sure I update it as in when I find time! Believe me its an addiction now! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow, that sounds great! I’ve abandoned my personal journal for a long time 😦
        I guess I need to start again to release some emotional burden that is “inappropriate” to share in blog.

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      2. Thats really sad! Initially when I started with my diary, the diary somehow kept eluding me! 😀 But I somehow got hang of it, its simple, you only need to be regular with things. Rest assured, it will release the baggage we often seem to carry! Also, you could check my post ‘The Writing Journey’, I speak about the same there! Also, thank you! This only goes on to show, everyones got problems and that we are fighting the same demons! Stay strong! 🙂

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